07 The ransom of achievement

Spin balance cover picture

The ransom of achievement

 

 By Randall Sparks

 

 You can’t sit idle by

Assume promotion

Follow someone’s design

Look up to a mentor

 

 Once you reach the top

It’s your lead

 

 No one else can do it

 

 Don’t look back

 

 Ego negotiates

It mediates your reality

Qualification adapts

Normal seems arrogant

 

 It’s not narcissism

It’s the work, the play

The song or art of it

 

 You become the lens

The instrument of discovery

 

 Not creation

More like realization

 

 At times it seems

You’ve been allowed to see

To experience what Magellan felt

Sense something new

 

 Anticipation just off

Excitement is an opiate

 

 Sometimes you forget modesty

Feel defensive of your gain

 

 You’re alone, isolated

From other than a select few

 

 Your peers

Those capable of understanding

Of appreciation

 

 Eccentricity

Is cautiously embraced

Tolerated more honestly

 

 It goes with the territory

 

 Often surrounding peers

Experience motivation

Influenced to a similar degree

 

 Feed off each other's success

And draw from the fire

 

 A 'think tank'

 

 A large shift for the psyche

Seems like a baby’s whisper

A minor misstep at first

 

 Behavior edges toward erratic

Red flags ascend

 

 Notice becomes concern

And the music stops

 

 In circles of brilliance

Controversial ideas

Are floated as dry jokes

To observe their impact

 

 If it’s not serious, it’s safe

 

 Tangential discussions

Continue for hours

Sometimes longer

 

 Some vectors serious

Some not so much

 

 Yet to all participants

Thoughts seem normal

No questions or concern

 

 Until fear enters

 

 Someone's comfort threatened

Colleagues run for the exits

 

 You, become the topic

Your irrationality receives scrutiny

All past references weighed

 

 Event focus accumulates

Until you become to all

The sum of your difference

 

 Smiles trade place with distance

 

 Sanity and conformity

Icy treacherous roads

 

 Watch the curves

Observe the signs

Go slow

 

 Achievers rise as heroes

Until venturing beyond normal

When safe zones are breached

 

 A thin obscure line barely noticeable

A knife a gun a danger we accept

 

 We pivot quick in fear

Easily startled

 

 Danger becomes anger

Where did the D go?

 

 Our trust is fiercely fragile

 

 Such is the ransom of brilliance

Paid by the chosen few

 

 The cream that rose to the top

 

 I chanced to know such a man briefly

 

 He shared his flight with me

And confessed literally that he was

In fact exactly mad

 

 And I am the richer for his candor

 

 Doctor Jonathan Warbel

Died yesterday

 

 He was a good man

Some would say a great man

 

 Some would say a mad man

 

 This reporter would say

That he will be sorely missed

 

 Sparks - on the record

For the record

 

07001


 

The editor’s desk - smile

 

 Ok Sparks you see this smile?

It's a good piece

Ponderous platitudes but still

 

 I always tell you, right?

Don’t get too close to a story

 

 You did, I’m not judging

 

 It makes it human, fine

Don’t make it a habit

 

 Maintain objectivity

Reporting is a hard business

 

 Don’t go soft on me

Keep it sharp that's all

 

 Sorry for your friend

Take a couple days

See your girl

 

 Write, don’t write

Whatever helps

I don’t care

 

 Just feel better

Then get yourself back here

 

 You're still here?

 

 Why are you still here?

 

 Did you not hear me?

 

 Go!

 

07002


 

Baby, stop

 

 You don’t have to apologize

Or make excuses to me

For doing your job

 

 Apologies

Aren't the memories I want

 

 This is us time, remember?

It should be about us

Me and you

And me of course

 

 Let’s keep it there

 

 So you’ve been gone

So what?

 

 You want to hear about places

I’ve been to since you left?

 

 You think it’s a job?

 

 You think the book store

Is about money?

 

 Think again paperboy

It’s about travel

 

 Every day I leave

To anyplace I want to go

And I’m back every night

 

 And the fantasies?

Oh baby!

(laughing)

 

 Let me tell you about that

 

 You were, you are

Great when you're away

 

 Never better

 

 You’re ok when you’re here

(laughing)

 

 Silly boy

You think it’s skin on skin?

 

 It’s not

 

 That's part of it

 

 But the bigger part

The way bigger part?

 

 Is heart on heart

 

 And missing you

Sets that part of me on fire

 

 Men think they run everything

 

 You think you caught me?

News flash paperboy

I caught you!

 

 I’m the reader

And you’re my private writer

 

 Both our lives are about words

 

 I can make you feel great with them

Or not

 

 Do you hear an apology

For the places I go?

 

 Your little-boy smile

When you’re on a story?

I think of it

 

 It seals the deal

 

 That’s the memory I want

 

 My mind, can be a salacious place

It’s a terrible thing to waste

 

 See love, our story

Has two perspectives

 

 Don’t try to write mine

 

 I want a lover and a friend

Someone to joust with

Share with

 

 Someone to watch

 

 Someone to watch me

 

 I want you

 

 So don’t apologize

 

 Now

You’ve got five minutes

To talk about your work

 

 Then I have several wants

That don’t require talking

 

 Clock's ticking baby

 

07003


 

Wow

 

 Give me a minute

I’m still processing

 

 Ok, wow

 

 Are you sure you’re allowed

To give up those secrets?

 

 Isn’t there some girl code

Or something?

 

 Work, yeah then

(smiling)

 

 That’s so unfair

 

 Yes well

 

 There was a scientist

Who lived in an asylum

 

 We became friends

 

 Bad people put him there

Actually, he put himself there

 

 Then they killed him

 

 And they might be after us now

That’s it

 

 Now for your plans

 

07004


 

More on that

 

 Somewhere toward the end

 

You said something about

People trying to kill us?

 

 I think I need more on that

 

 

 I thought you might

 

 I thought it was crazy talk mostly

There's a lot to explain

 

 To quote doctor Warbel

“If they want you dead

They won’t think twice”

 

 It’s different now that he's gone

 

 The call I took at the restaurant?

Could have been them

It was too soon to tell

 

 I wasn't sure

And anyway

They said they could protect us

 

 

 And you thought

I shouldn’t know this

Why?

 

 

 I didn't know who they were

 

 People say things

And you go along because

It's a story, right?

 

 Anyone can make stuff up

You don't want to overreact

 

 And sometimes there are threats

Maybe something maybe nothing

 

 So there's that

And I didn’t want you to worry

 

 I left for your safety

 

 

 That's got to be

The stupidest thing

I've ever heard!

(furious)

 

 You didn't think?

 

 I wouldn't want?

 

 Ahhhh!

 

 Next time don’t think

Tell me!

 

 I have a right to know!

 

 Don't ever do that again

(calming down)

 

 I am so mad at you right now

 

07005


 

Did you tell the police?

 

 I don’t think that’s a good idea

 

 Yes officer, an asylum patient

Said someone was out to get him

 

 My name?

 

 Of course

 

 That sounds reasonable

Right?

 

 Warbel chose asylum

To get away from them

 

 And they got to him

 

 He could have been

In a police station

 

 It wouldn't matter

 

 So protect us from what baby?

 

 Whoever was on the phone

Said they could protect us

 

 And they said

I was a threat to you

 

 So I stepped away

To figure it out

 

 They think I know something

 

 I know what Dr. Warbel said

I took notes

 

 And I think someone's listening

 

 Whatever they wanted

I figured it was me not you

 

 So without me around

You’d be safe

 

 It sounds crazy and it is

But I believe it

 

 I wouldn't expect anyone

To believe me

 

07006


 

Maybe it's over now

 

 Dr. Warbel shared a lot of stories

 

 He was their threat not me

That doesn't mean they know that

 

 Either way

It's nothing we can change

 

 Just be careful and pay attention

Watch out for anything strange

 

 So then

Unless you’ve changed your mind

 

 We’re still in ‘us’ time

 

 And like you said

That's a terrible thing to waste

 

 I wouldn’t want you

To have great salaciousness alone

 

 So you’ll just have to settle

 

 

 Give me a minute

I’m processing

 

 And you’re not off the hook

I'm still mad at you

 

 What you did was bad

 

 You’re bad

But I forgive you

 

 You’re right

 

 We can't just stop living

We can’t let them win

 

 It’s like in the movie

Where you’re supposed to run

And you don’t

 

 Except you're the idiot Randall

For not telling me until now

 

 And maybe we are doomed

 

 Or maybe

I’m Thelma and you’re Louise

 

 As for passion paperboy

You’re not that bad

 

 Tolerable I’d say

Even when you’re here

 

 

 Oh I see

Funny

 

 You think you're funny don’t you?

 

 

 I am funny and you know it!

 

 Come here Louise

(her index finger teasing)

 

 

 Hey!

 

 

 (she laughs)

 

07007


 

And the girl?

 

 Nothing happens to her

She’s the insurance we need

 

 She secures his free will

 

 He’ll ‘save the world’

For her sake

 

 Everything’s going splendidly

 

 

 I was speaking of the associate

 

 Miss Carnegie?

 

 

 Ah yes

 

 She’ll be fine

 

 The pieces are set

The game is in play

 

 She’s scheduled to speak

Saturday at the funeral

For the late doctor

 

 He’ll find her there

 

07008