Angels of the meadow – part 2

Angels of the meadow cover picture

Tomorrow

 

Felt love die today

Kicked hard in my heart

 

For a while I hoped

My heart would stop

Take away the pain

 

I want to quit loving

Feeling writing

 

I don’t want to sing

 

I’m numb lost and weak

Heavy and tired

 

I want to be chained to you

Chain that fails

 

I want out of this crypt

Quicksand that steals

 

In spirit

If I came to you

Would you know me

A flicker or a breeze?

 

Would you turn away?

 

Tomorrow I’ll be ok

 

How many this time

Weeks or months

Until tomorrow?

 

I look forward

To tomorrow

 

For now

Your silhouette

Haunts me

 

A2001-2003


 

Emotional driftwood

 

I once was beautiful

Vibrant and strong

With style to my grain

And hope in my song

 

My will could break iron

My love could mend space

Now I’ve washed up ashore

In this estranged place

 

Eroded and smooth

Like an old bar of soap

Affixed to my side

An old tattered rope

 

Affixed to the rope

Is a rusty old chain

Tied to past streaked

With memories stained

 

Things seem so different

I don’t seem to care

Faded existence

A burden to bear

 

My gaze is so distant

My challenge is lost

 

I reached out for Heaven

At a heavenly cost

 

Emotional driftwood

Bleached by the sea

The rain and the sun

Washed up by the tide

 

I scarcely remember

The day that I died

 

Vacant and empty

With nothing to share

Don’t waste your time looking

There’s nobody there

 

A2002-2003


 

Deer in headlights

 

Two seconds into the lights

He falters and coughs

Gasps and falls

 

Jumps to his feet

And runs again

 

Back and forth

First one way then back

With each gasp

Blood

 

Running from pain

One of the meadow’s angels

Touched by civilization

 

A brief frantic moment

Grieved by witnesses

The horn

Never made a sound

 

He’ll probably die

You can’t catch him

He runs to never

And forever

 

Yeah

 

Sometimes

I feel like that

 

A2003-2003


 

Pardon

 

Beg pardon

If I startled you

And stepping back

Extend this gift

 

Keep what I’ve given

With my blessing

 

May you find happiness

By your definition

 

My love’s an ocean

Fill a flask

And take with you

To open if you need

 

And if you come back

Don’t be surprised

If it’s like you never left

 

My love went with you

So you wouldn’t be alone

 

A2004-2003


 

Because I love you

 

My hurt’s grown silent

It fills my soul

 

Passion washed my flesh away

Leaving me bony and absent

Death won’t welcome me

 

Your presence reminds

I sense you and turn away

Run fast as I can

 

Not because I hate you

Though I do

 

But because I love you

And I can’t

 

A2005-2003


 

Head-on

 

Pull my heart

From the wreckage

Of you and I

 

That’s the problem

With a slow speed head-on

Almost always survivors

Almost surviving

 

A2006-2003


 

Passionate challenge

 

Let love flow

Like honey from my pen

 

Bite you soft and sweet

Tease forbidden surrender

Watch your resistance melt

 

Tremble naked in flame

Cry before Venus

And thank God

For life

 

A2007-2003


 

A new leaf

 

I’ll stop

Allowing selfish dreams

To hurt those around me

 

I feel their pain

As they watch me die

 

At times they hate me

Mourn my absence

 

But I don’t

 

I briefly tasted life

Though memory fades

Only word is left

And pain remains

 

I learned life

Is worth dying for

 

I knew I knew why once

 

Today a flower

Opened before me

Helped me recall

 

I’ll return to you, life

 

Emerge from ashes

Find a new leaf

It’ll help me look up

And prepare to soar

 

It’s time

 

A2008-2003


 

Mere gander

 

Nay but for

An angry flock of geese go I

 

With a Winston jib

And a Thomas tuffle

 

Wayne on jab sheets

Fracas sigh

 

With calm approach

On distant shore

 

A2009-2003


 

Since

 

Since I met you

I’ve learned to hate phones

They don’t ring

 

Seen no reflection

Staring back at me

In the mirror

 

Scold myself

For being so stupid

 

Learned to let go

In desperate face of want

 

And let my wounds

Begin to heal

 

They’re good wounds

 

A2010-2003


 

Go then

 

If you can walk away

Then go

 

The love I seek

Won’t have that choice

It’ll seem like

We’ve always been

 

Commitment

Life and song

Natural as breath

 

Euphoric and insane

Ungrounded

We’ll create from it

Or I’ll walk alone

 

If I were

Getting this from you

I couldn’t say

Just please go

 

So just please go

 

A2011-2003


 

Grown up

 

Children

Must be perfect

Grandchildren

Don’t need to be

 

That’s because

By the time

They have grandchildren

Mom and dad

Have grown up

 

A2012-2003


 

The river

 

To the river to swim

First upstream

 

Against the shore

Current’s softer

 

Out to center stream

Sometimes it’s violent

It’s always swift

 

Swim or float

The river takes me

 

I’m not responsible

For where it goes

Only how far I go

 

I think God

Isn’t responsible

For the flow of a river

Or direction of mankind

Only their existence

 

Which makes us responsible

For where that leads

 

A2013-2003


 

As you are

 

I love you as you are

Change only

What you want

 

Surrender nothing

I’ll steal it

 

Your smile

Your laugh

Your affection

Your eyes

Say I love you

 

Steal from me

What you want

It’s only fair

 

I love you exactly

As you are

 

A2014-2003


 

Afterward

 

You win

I’ll love you

 

But promise

You’ll kill me

Afterward

 

A2015-2003


 

Crystal peace and beautiful

 

The forest out my window

Is heavy with fresh snow

 

The sky behind is perfect blue

Clouds and snow share white

 

There’s a hint of magic

As sun smiles on the branches

Just before the snow drops

 

Crystal peace and beautiful

I wish I could give it to you

 

A2016-2003


 

Angels of mercy

 

Death lashed fierce in me

Infectious claws danced fire

It raced from within

 

Angels of St Joseph

And Mount Carmel came

 

They surrounded me

Stood down death for me

They lifted me up

With God’s love

 

As I stand today

I walk with the memory

Of grace and strength

And love of my angels

 

Thank you God

For them

 

A2017-2003


 

Nothing is important

 

What you don’t say

Means so much

 

What you won’t share

Finds me lost

 

What you didn’t do

Kept me waiting

 

And where you won’t go

Leaves me alone

 

A2018-2003


 

Love that stays

 

Once someone’s

Really really really hurt

Fear shock and numb sets in

 

It’s impossible to trust

Or speak about

Or share

 

Until the grieving’s gone

 

You can hide in busy

But the only thing

That will help

Is love

 

Love left unanswered

Love that won’t leave

Ever

 

Love that knows

It takes many licks

To mend wounds so deep

Licks make a wound sore

 

Love that’s not afraid

Of being bitten

 

Love that stays

And cares

 

A2019-2003


 

Broken people

Scattered shores

 

Some people get hit

With tragic loss

That leaves them

With shattered lives

 

Love seeks to find itself

Find its place

As broken people

Try to mend

 

When shattered people

Come together

There are gaps

Pieces missing

Parts that won’t fit

 

Boundaries

Where they converge

Form a scattered shore

 

Bring me to

Your scattered shore

Let your breath

Fall on my chest

 

Hold me close

Through tears of loss

Dull the pain

Begin to rest

 

We’re broken

But we can heal

 

A2020-2003


 

You ask why

 

Can’t I just say

Don’t want to

Or don’t feel like it

Isn’t that enough?

 

Million emotions at once

Running frantically open

Without destination

 

Don’t ask me to rationalize

Don’t expect reason

It’s so unfair

 

And I can’t be that

For you right now

 

Just love me

And stop

Or not

 

A2021-2004


 

Empty shelves

 

You meet someone

And everything’s alive

And exciting

 

You love them

And tell them

And they tell you

 

You rearrange your soul

To make room for them

Closet space for their things

But they don’t show up

 

So you wait for awhile

And then days

 

After a time

It’s apparent

 

Those shelves

Will always be empty

Without a letter or call

No reason why

 

A2022-2004


 

Reckless love

 

People will get hurt

Maybe they need to

To breathe again

 

Tears wash silence

Dowse fire

New life begins

 

Hands torn

All that’s left

Stagnant existence

Beneath fingernails

 

Grow now

 

Don’t stop living

Just for me

 

A2023-2004